Bastards Of Eden
We Are The Bastards Of Eden,
Or So It Seems.
Another Orphan Dreaming,
Of What They Can Bring.

Would You Care For A Pipe?
Can I Get You A Drink?
Would You Care For A Woman?
She Might Help You Think.

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The Dog Song
I Found A Shelter And Garden,
On The Corner Of Fountain And Vine.
It’s Made For Gamblers Who Lose,
A Place For Brave Men To Whine.

Every So Often There’s Trouble,
Somebody Could Lose A Life.
I Just Sit On The Back Porch,
And Eat Apples With My Knife.

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A Clown Too Fat To Walk Across A Wire
Try To Drive On The Highway With Your Eyes Closed.
Try To Go To Church With Something Exposed.
Try To Make A Joke When You’re On Your Knees.
Try To Fall In Love Without Saying Please.

Try To Make A Million Bucks With Only Your Smile.
Try Not To Act Like An Only Child.
Try To Call The President, Once A Day.
Try To Think Before You Die The Last Words You’ll Say.

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 Amazing & Funny Photos

Most Amazing and Funny Statue Where Are You Now? Mind Blowing Illusion – Which Side Is Up This Is Called Love 2014 Allegro Breeze – Luxury Motorhome Get Up Dady, It’s Morning Now Beautiful Super Mario Wedding Cake My Car Is Always Surprised To See Me Lets Enjoy Dude I Am Ready For A Ride

Alabama
It’s My First Time In Alabama,
And I’m Peeing Off A Bridge.
I’ve Got A Smile On My Face,
And I’ve Been Drinking Like A Fish.

These Days I Don’t Shut Up.
I Eat, Drink, And Smoke,
Until My Bones Fall Down.
I Talk ‘til I Regret It,
And I Laugh Like A Clown.

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Don’t Tease The Lion
It’s A Crying Shame How I Carry Myself,
It’s A Crying, Crying Shame.
It’s A God Damn Miracle My Heart Still Pumps,
Trying To Float, With A Ball And Chain.
So I Drown, I Cough, My Oxygen’s Cut Off.
I Think Of All, The Good, I’d Do If I Could.
But I Can’t Go On…

It’s A Joke In The Ballroom When The Lights Go Out.
It’s A Laugh, For The King And Queen.
It’s A Stranger’s Touch To Make You Feel Safe,
For Your Life, You Held On To Me.
And We Loved, Like Lovers, Never Knowing Each Other.
Until The Lights, Turned On, And What I Thought Was Wrong.
Because I Can’t Go On…
If Abbey Won’t Hold Me Tight.

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Red, Green, Yellow
I’ve Got A Garden Out Back With Plenty Of Sun,
But Nothing Ever Seems To Grow.
There’s A Rabbit And A Squirrel Who Have Never Been Friends,
But They Still Stop And Say Hello.
Using My Shirt For A Basket I Stole 25 Lemons,
From My Next Door Neighbors Tree.
I Told My Boss I Need A Few Days Off,
I’ve Got A Family Emergency.
Found A Spot In The Shade, Had A Glass Of Lemonade,
And I Wished That You’d Come By.
But You Never Ever Do, So I Went Inside,
And Laid Down To Get High.

Here I Go.
Red, Green, Yellow.
Uh Oh No.
Tick Tock, Click Bang.
Around The Sun, Again,
Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum.
Tap Tap, Clang, Hush,
Tick Tick, Boom,
My Broken Heart.

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You Can Use Me
Take Off Your Gown If You Want.
I’m Here For You. Don’t Be Shy.
We’ve Both Been Used Before,
My Heart Doesn’t Care.

Undo My Belt If You Want.
No Reason To Whisper… Tonight.
My Tongue Doesn’t Care,
To Be Clever No More.

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Rain On Your Rooftop
I Want To Be,
The Rain On Your Rooftop.
I Want To Be,
The Face You Know Best.
And When Your Lying In My Arms Naked,
I Want You, I Want You Laughing At Me.
We Can Picture Ourselves When We’re Old,
And Wrinkled.

Oh, My Love.
Tie Me Up Dear.
My Love,
Sleep Upside Down For Me.

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Funeral Train
Waiting Around,
For A Funeral Train In Chester,
And I Don’t Feel It’s Coming Round.

I Heard My Mother,
Crying In The Kitchen,
Doing Her Best Not To Make A Sound.

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Oh Boy
There’s An Old Saying, I Forgot What It Was,
But It Will Lift You Up When You Need It Most,
oh Yeah.

I Woke Today The Sky Was Blue,
Bluer Than It Ever Was,
…than It Ever Was Now.

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Funny Veg Jokes

Our Hindu Gods
Hindu Gods.... Brahma: "System installer" Vishnu: "System operator" Shiva: "System programmer" Narad: "Data

Santa Se Hoshiyari Nahi Chalegi
Santa Ek Din Store Mein Kuchh Samaan Lene Gaya. Santa: "Mujhe Dog Food Chahiye." Sales Girl: "Kya Aapke Paas Kutta

Waqt Ke Sath Sath Tum Bhi Badlo
Baba Saxidas Ji Ki Mahaan Baaton Mein Se Ek Baat. Samaye Par Aadatein Nahi Badali, To Woh Aadatein Life Ban Jati Hai,

I Wish, I Was A Newspaper
Wife: "I Wish, I Was A Newspaper, So I Would Be In Your Hands All-Day" Husband: "I Too Wish, That You Were A Newspape

Gyaan Ki Baat By Baba Saxidas
Baba Saxida Ji Ka Aaj Ka Mast Vichaar. "Badaam Khaane Se Utni Akal Nahi Aati, Jitni Dhoka Khaane Se Aati Hai."

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