The Dog Song
I Found A Shelter And Garden,
On The Corner Of Fountain And Vine.
It’s Made For Gamblers Who Lose,
A Place For Brave Men To Whine.

Every So Often There’s Trouble,
Somebody Could Lose A Life.
I Just Sit On The Back Porch,
And Eat Apples With My Knife.

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A Clown Too Fat To Walk Across A Wire
Try To Drive On The Highway With Your Eyes Closed.
Try To Go To Church With Something Exposed.
Try To Make A Joke When You’re On Your Knees.
Try To Fall In Love Without Saying Please.

Try To Make A Million Bucks With Only Your Smile.
Try Not To Act Like An Only Child.
Try To Call The President, Once A Day.
Try To Think Before You Die The Last Words You’ll Say.

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Alabama
It’s My First Time In Alabama,
And I’m Peeing Off A Bridge.
I’ve Got A Smile On My Face,
And I’ve Been Drinking Like A Fish.

These Days I Don’t Shut Up.
I Eat, Drink, And Smoke,
Until My Bones Fall Down.
I Talk ‘til I Regret It,
And I Laugh Like A Clown.

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 Amazing & Funny Photos

Who Want To Date With Her? Paint Me Today Here Is An Old Pic Of Me Funny Face On Red T-Shirt Amazing Sand Art Lion Looking Real I Am Enjoying The Ride A Rare Image Of A Flying Peacock A White Bird Purely Made From a Paper This Is Called a Forced Kiss Oh Jesus, I Don’t Wanna Die

Don’t Tease The Lion
It’s A Crying Shame How I Carry Myself,
It’s A Crying, Crying Shame.
It’s A God Damn Miracle My Heart Still Pumps,
Trying To Float, With A Ball And Chain.
So I Drown, I Cough, My Oxygen’s Cut Off.
I Think Of All, The Good, I’d Do If I Could.
But I Can’t Go On…

It’s A Joke In The Ballroom When The Lights Go Out.
It’s A Laugh, For The King And Queen.
It’s A Stranger’s Touch To Make You Feel Safe,
For Your Life, You Held On To Me.
And We Loved, Like Lovers, Never Knowing Each Other.
Until The Lights, Turned On, And What I Thought Was Wrong.
Because I Can’t Go On…
If Abbey Won’t Hold Me Tight.

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Red, Green, Yellow
I’ve Got A Garden Out Back With Plenty Of Sun,
But Nothing Ever Seems To Grow.
There’s A Rabbit And A Squirrel Who Have Never Been Friends,
But They Still Stop And Say Hello.
Using My Shirt For A Basket I Stole 25 Lemons,
From My Next Door Neighbors Tree.
I Told My Boss I Need A Few Days Off,
I’ve Got A Family Emergency.
Found A Spot In The Shade, Had A Glass Of Lemonade,
And I Wished That You’d Come By.
But You Never Ever Do, So I Went Inside,
And Laid Down To Get High.

Here I Go.
Red, Green, Yellow.
Uh Oh No.
Tick Tock, Click Bang.
Around The Sun, Again,
Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum.
Tap Tap, Clang, Hush,
Tick Tick, Boom,
My Broken Heart.

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You Can Use Me
Take Off Your Gown If You Want.
I’m Here For You. Don’t Be Shy.
We’ve Both Been Used Before,
My Heart Doesn’t Care.

Undo My Belt If You Want.
No Reason To Whisper… Tonight.
My Tongue Doesn’t Care,
To Be Clever No More.

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Rain On Your Rooftop
I Want To Be,
The Rain On Your Rooftop.
I Want To Be,
The Face You Know Best.
And When Your Lying In My Arms Naked,
I Want You, I Want You Laughing At Me.
We Can Picture Ourselves When We’re Old,
And Wrinkled.

Oh, My Love.
Tie Me Up Dear.
My Love,
Sleep Upside Down For Me.

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Funeral Train
Waiting Around,
For A Funeral Train In Chester,
And I Don’t Feel It’s Coming Round.

I Heard My Mother,
Crying In The Kitchen,
Doing Her Best Not To Make A Sound.

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Bastards Of Eden
We Are The Bastards Of Eden,
Or So It Seems.
Another Orphan Dreaming,
Of What They Can Bring.

Would You Care For A Pipe?
Can I Get You A Drink?
Would You Care For A Woman?
She Might Help You Think.

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Oh Boy
There’s An Old Saying, I Forgot What It Was,
But It Will Lift You Up When You Need It Most,
oh Yeah.

I Woke Today The Sky Was Blue,
Bluer Than It Ever Was,
…than It Ever Was Now.

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Funny Veg Jokes

Sabse Himmat Wala Insaan Kaun?
Sabse Himmat Wala Insaan Kaun? Socho? Nahi Pata, Sabse Himmat Wala Insaan Wo Hai, Jo Dast Lagne Ke Baad Bhi,

5 Jawab Ladke Aur Ladki Ke
Ladka Agar Kisi Ladki Ko Propose Kare To Ladki Ke 5 Jawab Ho Sakte Hai 1. No 2. Yes 3. Main Apko Sirf Dost Smajh

Pappu Kamaal Ka Doctor Bhi Hai
Ek Friend Ne Pappu Se Ek Question Poochha. Friend: "Yaar Pappu Bhai, Heart Attack Se Marne Walon Mein Gents Hain 90%

Aajkal Ki Ladkiyo Se Bhagwan Hi Bachaye
Ladka: "Tumhara Naam Kya Hai? Tum Kya Karti Ho?" Ladki: "Kyu Bataun? Main Tumhe Janti Bhi Nahi Hoon" Ladka: "Na Ba

Thoda Sa Sabar Jaruri Hai Pyar Mein
Ek Pathan Ladki Ko Propose Karta Hua Kehta Hai. Pathan: "I Love You" Ladki: "Meri Chappal Ka Size Pata Hai Na Tumh

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