The Dog Song
I Found A Shelter And Garden,
On The Corner Of Fountain And Vine.
It’s Made For Gamblers Who Lose,
A Place For Brave Men To Whine.

Every So Often There’s Trouble,
Somebody Could Lose A Life.
I Just Sit On The Back Porch,
And Eat Apples With My Knife.

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A Clown Too Fat To Walk Across A Wire
Try To Drive On The Highway With Your Eyes Closed.
Try To Go To Church With Something Exposed.
Try To Make A Joke When You’re On Your Knees.
Try To Fall In Love Without Saying Please.

Try To Make A Million Bucks With Only Your Smile.
Try Not To Act Like An Only Child.
Try To Call The President, Once A Day.
Try To Think Before You Die The Last Words You’ll Say.

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Alabama
It’s My First Time In Alabama,
And I’m Peeing Off A Bridge.
I’ve Got A Smile On My Face,
And I’ve Been Drinking Like A Fish.

These Days I Don’t Shut Up.
I Eat, Drink, And Smoke,
Until My Bones Fall Down.
I Talk ‘til I Regret It,
And I Laugh Like A Clown.

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 Amazing & Funny Photos

Priceless Ring City Made Out Of Toothpicks Chinese Traditional Dance Iron Man’s Iron Micro Artwork – Tree Inside A Bottle Re-Use Of Waste Materials In An Innovative Way Darling, Please Click Me This Is Called Love Kissing The Snakes – Only In India Beautiful Super Mario Wedding Cake

Don’t Tease The Lion
It’s A Crying Shame How I Carry Myself,
It’s A Crying, Crying Shame.
It’s A God Damn Miracle My Heart Still Pumps,
Trying To Float, With A Ball And Chain.
So I Drown, I Cough, My Oxygen’s Cut Off.
I Think Of All, The Good, I’d Do If I Could.
But I Can’t Go On…

It’s A Joke In The Ballroom When The Lights Go Out.
It’s A Laugh, For The King And Queen.
It’s A Stranger’s Touch To Make You Feel Safe,
For Your Life, You Held On To Me.
And We Loved, Like Lovers, Never Knowing Each Other.
Until The Lights, Turned On, And What I Thought Was Wrong.
Because I Can’t Go On…
If Abbey Won’t Hold Me Tight.

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Red, Green, Yellow
I’ve Got A Garden Out Back With Plenty Of Sun,
But Nothing Ever Seems To Grow.
There’s A Rabbit And A Squirrel Who Have Never Been Friends,
But They Still Stop And Say Hello.
Using My Shirt For A Basket I Stole 25 Lemons,
From My Next Door Neighbors Tree.
I Told My Boss I Need A Few Days Off,
I’ve Got A Family Emergency.
Found A Spot In The Shade, Had A Glass Of Lemonade,
And I Wished That You’d Come By.
But You Never Ever Do, So I Went Inside,
And Laid Down To Get High.

Here I Go.
Red, Green, Yellow.
Uh Oh No.
Tick Tock, Click Bang.
Around The Sun, Again,
Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum.
Tap Tap, Clang, Hush,
Tick Tick, Boom,
My Broken Heart.

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You Can Use Me
Take Off Your Gown If You Want.
I’m Here For You. Don’t Be Shy.
We’ve Both Been Used Before,
My Heart Doesn’t Care.

Undo My Belt If You Want.
No Reason To Whisper… Tonight.
My Tongue Doesn’t Care,
To Be Clever No More.

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Rain On Your Rooftop
I Want To Be,
The Rain On Your Rooftop.
I Want To Be,
The Face You Know Best.
And When Your Lying In My Arms Naked,
I Want You, I Want You Laughing At Me.
We Can Picture Ourselves When We’re Old,
And Wrinkled.

Oh, My Love.
Tie Me Up Dear.
My Love,
Sleep Upside Down For Me.

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Funeral Train
Waiting Around,
For A Funeral Train In Chester,
And I Don’t Feel It’s Coming Round.

I Heard My Mother,
Crying In The Kitchen,
Doing Her Best Not To Make A Sound.

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Bastards Of Eden
We Are The Bastards Of Eden,
Or So It Seems.
Another Orphan Dreaming,
Of What They Can Bring.

Would You Care For A Pipe?
Can I Get You A Drink?
Would You Care For A Woman?
She Might Help You Think.

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Oh Boy
There’s An Old Saying, I Forgot What It Was,
But It Will Lift You Up When You Need It Most,
oh Yeah.

I Woke Today The Sky Was Blue,
Bluer Than It Ever Was,
…than It Ever Was Now.

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Funny Veg Jokes

Ramzan Treat For Husbands
Ramzan Ke Din Ek Pati Aur Patni Mein Khoob Ladayi Ho Rahi Thi. Apni Patni Ko Chup Na Hote Dekh Pati Ne Palat Ke Bola.

Zameen Kitni Door Hai?
Titanic Jahaaz Doob Raha Tha. Ek Angrej Ne Santa Se Poocha: "Yahan Se Zameen Kitni Door Hai?" Santa: "4 Km." An

Boys Zindagi Mein Ek Bar Hi Mohabbat Karte Hai
Baba Saxidas Ke Anusar Ladko Ki Sachayi Boys Apni Life Mein Sirf, Ek Baar Mohabbat Karte Hai Aur Baqi Mohabbate

I Can See The Whole World In Your Eyes
A Boy Romantically Told His Girlfriend: "I Can See The Whole World In Your Eyes" A Mumbaikar Passing By Asks: "Arey C

Safar Lamba Tha, Thakan To Honi Hi Thi
Santa Delhi Se Mumbai Apne Ek Dost Ke Paas Gaya To Dost Ne Haal Chaal Puchha. Santa Dukhi Hote Hue Bola: "Kya Batau Y

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