Could I Have Been A Copper?
My Trungeon At The Ready
To Stop The Speeding Motorist
And Tell Them Take It Steady

I’d Walk Around My Local Beat
Until My Feet Got Sore
A Cup Of Tea At The Café
Then Go And Plod Some More

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Could I Have Been A Legal Sort?
A Solicitor With Briefs
Charging For My Sound Advice
While I Listen To Their Grief’s

I’d Help Them Buy A Property
Get Through A Tough Divorce
Do All Those Extra Bits They Want
With An Extra Charge Of Course

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Try As I Might I’ve Forgotten
Your Face A Familiar Sight
I Know I Should Really Remember
A Guess And I Won’t Get It Right

I Picture Your Face In Past Workings
A Shop Did You Sell Me Some Shoes
Were You On The Desk At The Bookies?
Taking My Bets When They Lose

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 Amazing & Funny Photos

I Wonder Who Would Eat Them? Lets Dance Baby Now It’s Your Turn The Best Optical Illusion You’ll Ever See Chile Volcano Plume Explodes With Lightning Engineer Of The Year Award Goes To.. Bhad Mein Ja Sale Lootna To Koi Inse Sikhe A Baby Turtle Born WIth Two Heads Superb Illusion – Power of OM

Could I Have Been A Warden?
Patrolling Yellow Lines
Looking For The Wrongly Parked
And Handing Out Big Fines

I’d Find Myself So Hated
Giving More Fines Than I Should
But I Wouldn’t Get The Tickets Out
If Their Parking Had Been Good

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Could I Have Been A Barrister?
Black Cloak And Curly Wig
With Many Piles Of Paperwork
Defending Mr. Big

I’d Call Up Any Witness
For Evidence They’re Liable
Before They Speak A Single Word
All Swear Upon The Bible

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The Much Bespangled Wozzel Duck
Jewelled Feather Every Shade
Swam The River Many A Mile
Till His Energy Did Fade

When Sun Shone Down He Sparkled
Every Jewel Lit Up A Light
All The Colours Of The Rainbow
Seen For Miles Shine Bright

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In His Splendid Isolation
Sits A Hermit Near A Cave
He Doesn’t Move A Muscle
For His Energy To Save

He Stares Into The Distance
Where He Hopes To Be Enlightened
Not All His Thoughts Will Bring Him Calm
Some Often Leave Him Frightened

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Crackers And Cheese Topped With Pickle
Black Forest Gateau With Creams
Pork Pies With Jacket Potatoes
My Trousers Now Strain At The Seams

Salads Were Left Alone Wilting
As Strange Things On Sticks Fizzled Out
Just One More Small Sherry Trifle
With More Cream If There’s Some About

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Speak To Me Mortal Thundered Thor
Come Forth And Show Your Face
Why Did You Bring Me To This Shore?
What Be This Eerie Place

Have You A Thirst For Fighting
To Battle Then My Lord
Be There A Wrong Needs Righting
I’d Hold Aloft My Sword

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I’m Making A Few Home Improvements
My Loft Is To Get A New Floor
Chipboard Arrived On A Lorry
And Slipped Off The Back Near My Door

Economy Eight By Four Sheeting
In Bulk Saved Me Nearly Ten Pound
Some Warped And Chipped On The Edges
Lay There In A Heap On The Ground

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Funny Veg Jokes

Bhole Santa Ko Har Koi Lootta Hai
Santa Sheeshe Wale Ki Dukan Par Shisha Kharidne Gaya. Santa: "Mujhe Mazboot Shisha Do" Dukandar: "Ye Lijiye Shisha

Baniye Ki Kanjoosi Ki Hadd
Ek Bar Muftimal Baniya 14th Floor Se Neeche Gira. Girte Waqt Usne 10th Floor Pe Apni Ghar Ki Khidki Mein, Apni Wife K

Motapa Kam Karne Ka Best Ilaaz
Santa Apne Motaape Ki Wajah Se Tang Aa Kar Doctor Ke Paas Gaya. Santa: "Doctor Sahab Is Mote Pet Ka Kuch Karo." Do

Facebook Fact, Funny But True
Facebook Kitni Popular Ho Rahi Hai, Is Cheez Ka Andaza Is Choti Si Bat Se Pata Chalta Hai. Ek Bar Ek Person Ne Apne F

Naai Ho To Santa Jaisa
Santa Ne Berozgari Se Tang Aakar Naai Ki Dukan Khol Li, Ek Aadmi Shave Karwane Aaya, Shave Karte Hue Santa Ne Puchha.

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